


Sunflower

by shuckmas



Category: The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, FTM!Newt, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, FtM Newt, Happy Ending, LGBT, M/M, Slow Burn, Trans Character, Trans Newt, Trans!Newt, newtmas - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-03-31 14:13:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13976826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shuckmas/pseuds/shuckmas
Summary: Thomas befriends a unique boy named Newt through music and books, and learns that there are a lot of things he doesn't know.





	1. Roots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas and Newt meet for the first time. :)

  
    Thomas fidgeted with his music as he waited for his piano teacher of four years to be done with her current student. It was a sunny Friday in September, the end of his first week of grade twelve and the re-start of his weekly music lessons. The studio wasn’t busy at that moment, but he could hear muffled voices in another classroom, and the sounds of a screeching violin.  
  
    He was about to reach for his phone to check the time when he heard singing start down the hallway. The walls of each classroom were mostly sound proof, yet the hauntingly beautiful voice Thomas heard seemed to leak underneath the doorway and into the hall where he sat. He couldn’t tell what song the girl was singing, but it was calming and soft, and he found himself feeling disappointed when the door to his piano teacher’s room opened.  
  
    The singing stopped a moment later as he was greeting his teacher, and he was taken aback when caught a glimpse of a short blonde boy — not a girl as he had thought — leaving the room down the hall as Thomas followed his teacher in.

 

* * *

  
    The next week, he arrived to his lessons a few minutes early (he had a habit of being early for everything) and found that same boy sitting across from the spot he sat in last time, nose in a book. He sat down in his same chair, and the blonde looked up, giving him a small smile. He smiled back, lowering his eyes to read the cover of the book he was so immersed in.  
  
    “I loved that book,” he commented, surprised to see someone else reading it. The blonde looked up again, seemingly startled by his voice, but recovered, setting the book face down on his lap.  
  
    “This is my second time reading it,” he admitted shyly, catching him off-guard when he heard the strong English accent that left his mouth.  
  
    “Have you read any of her other books?” Thomas asked, trying to keep a conversation going. The blonde shook his head.  
  
    “I didn’t know she’d written others,” he laughed, embarrassed. “Now that I know, I’d love to read some. I’ll have to keep an eye out, thanks!”  
  
    “Just doing God’s work,” Thomas joked. “I’m Thomas, you?”  
  
    The boy hesitated, the brunette not catching the flicker of uncertainty in his eyes. “Newt.”  
  
     _Interesting name,_ Thomas thought to himself.  
  
    “You sing really nice,” Thomas said earnestly, playing with the corner of one of his papers. Newt’s face instantly flushed.  
  
    “I didn’t know anyone could hear,” he grimaced.  
  
    “It was muffled, but I could tell you sounded good,” he told him, smiling. Newt dropped his head in his hands, laughing uncomfortably.  
  
    “Thank you,” he mumbled, the blush starting to fade. “I-“  
  
    “Noelle, sorry I was late. Let’s go,” a woman bustled into the hallway, waiting expectantly for someone. Thomas looked to his right, but there was no one there other than him and Newt, who was currently standing up with a crushed look on his face. He waved half-heartedly as he followed who Thomas assumed was his mother down the hallway and out the front door, and Thomas stared at the spot where he had just sat in confusion.

 

* * *

  
    It was Sunday evening, and Thomas was finishing his shift at the bookstore he worked at when he remembered his conversation with the slightly peculiar boy. He put the last book in his cart away, then headed to the A-E section, looking for the author they had talked about. He wanted to bring Newt — Noelle? — one of the author’s other books, as an excuse to talk again, because he was a slint-head who had absolutely no game when it came to making friends.  
  
    He was a little confused about him, but he seemed cool and he wanted to get to know him better. He found the book he was looking for and tucked it under his arm, bringing it to the front desk to scan it.

* * *

  
    Thomas was, for the first time, thankful for his piano teacher being off-schedule when Friday evening rolled around. Newt was sitting in the same spot as last time, looking bored and fidgety. He looked up when he heard his footsteps and smiled, somewhat nervously.  
  
    “Hi,” he sat down beside him, holding out the book he had brought. Newt took it from him tentatively after saying hello back, reading the front cover.  
  
    “Oh! It’s the author we were talking about!” Newt seemed surprised that he had remembered their encounter. “Thank you so much,” he excitedly flipped the book over and skimmed the description, a big smile on his face.  
  
    “It’s no problem,” he assured him, happy that he liked it. He paused, trying to find the right words.  
  
    “I was wondering if maybe you wanted to exchange numbers? We could give each other book recommendations and stuff,” he spoke quickly, not making eye contact. “It’s fine if not though,” he quickly added, doubting himself. To his relief, Newt nodded, pulling out his phone.  
  
    “That would be really nice,” he replied, opening up a new contact and passing Thomas his phone. Thomas smiled, entering his name and number and passing it back to Newt, taking out his phone so Newt could do the same. They had just finished handing each other their phones back when the same woman from yesterday entered the hallway, a girl (maybe a year older than Thomas) in tow.  
  
    Newt smiled, thanking him again as he stood up to leave.  
  
    “See ya, Newt,” he bid him farewell, oblivious to the nervous expression that appeared on Newt’s face. The woman gave him a weird look though and quietly asked Newt a question as they walked away. Thomas didn’t hear the reply, but he was definitely more confused than before.

 

* * *

  
    He decided to get an answer that night, flopping onto his bed on his stomach, opening his phone and starting a new text conversation.  
  
     _‘hi :)’_  
  
    He received a reply a minute later.  
  
     _‘hello (:’_  
  
    He paused, thinking of what to say.  
  
     _‘quick question. why did your mom (??) call you noelle last week?’_  
  
    The typing bubble popped up, then went away, then came back.  
  
     _‘**noel. newt is just a nickname.’_  
  
    That made sense, aside from Noel (pronounced that way) typically being a girl’s name.  
  
     _‘oh, cool’_  
  
    His fingers hovered over the keyboard as he tried to come up with something else.  
  
     _‘why newt?’_  
  
_‘idk lol’_  
  
_‘oh lol. ok’_  
  
    Thomas rolled his eyes at his basic response. He was truly horrible at conversing, even over text. He looked back down when his phone buzzed.  
  
     _‘i’m going to go to bed, text you tomorrow? (:’_  
  
_‘yeah, night :)’_  
  
_‘nite’_  
  
    Thomas shut his phone off and put it down, smiling happily to himself.  
  


 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed that first (short) chapter! i had a chapter note typed out, but i guess it didn't save when i saved the draft, sadly! so i don't remember what i wrote. but this is my first full fic in the maze runner/newtmas fandom, and my first time posting on ao3! i hope it's not too cliche; i try so hard to stay away from cheesy-ness but i feel like the first few chapters of a book are always a little awkward for me. i'm super excited that i've finally given in and decided to write stuff in this fandom, as it's definitely my favourite fandom i'm in. :) thank ya so much for taking the time to read this! if it's not your cup of tea, that's fine - as a trans boy, i just really wanted to write some trans rep for this ship, and didn't find much when i searched for some, which further encouraged me to do so. comments are very appreciated and fuel me to write! (wink wonk) xx (p.s. i know newt isn't short canonically, but i wrote him as short for the cute height difference. c:)


	2. Sprout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas and Newt learn more about each other. :)

  
  
    Thomas woke up to a text notification a few minutes before his alarm went off the next morning, and he stretched lazily as he reached for his phone, rubbing his eyes to try to get them to focus.  
  
   _‘morning! hopefully this doesn’t wake you’_  
  
    He blinked sleepily, forcing his thumbs to cooperate as he typed a reply.  
  
     _‘morning :) it did, but my alarm was going to go off anyway. what are you up to?’_  
  
_‘my bad. in my defense, it is almost noon. :P i’m just making lunch. i’d ask what you’re up to, but i’m assuming you’re still in a vegetative state?’_  
  
_‘pretty much. i have to be at work in an hour though’_  
  
_‘where do you work?’_  
  
_‘the bookstore near the mall. :) you should come visit, i’m there until it closes around six.’_  
  
    Thomas hoped he didn’t sound too lame, inviting Newt somewhere after they’d just barely started talking. He didn’t have a particularly big group of friends, so he got lonely sometimes.  
  
     _‘i shall see what i can do! c:’_  
  
_‘:D’_

* * *

  
    The bell on the door chimed as Thomas handed a customer their books and their receipt, and he looked up after thanking them for their business to see Newt entering the store. The blonde spotted him and made his way over to the counter, smiling.  
  
    “You made it,” Thomas greeted him happily, putting the last coin in the register and shutting it.  
  
    “Yeah! Sorry it took me so long; I was cleaning my room and lost track of time.”  
  
    Thomas grimaced, making his way out from behind the counter. “Sounds fun,” he said sarcastically. Newt grinned.  
  
    “Loads.”  
  
    “Anything in particular you’re looking for?” Thomas questioned, putting on his customer service voice. The shorter boy laughed, thinking for a moment.  
  
    “Since you asked, I actually was going to pick up the sequel to the book you gave me,” he replied. “Oh, and I brought the first one with me — I wasn’t sure if I was meant to keep it or not.”  
  
    “I gave it to you to keep, it’s fine,” Thomas reassured him, leading him to the correct shelves as they talked. He looked over his shoulder to make sure his co-worker, Gally, was by the counter still incase another customer came in. Newt thanked him graciously, following behind him.  
  
    “Here we are,” Thomas announced, stepping back so Newt could browse. “We close in half an hour, so if you wanna hang around until then, I’ll be off work so we can properly hang out,” Thomas suggested hopefully, bouncing on the heels of his sneakers.  
  
    “Sure,” Newt agreed. “I’ll probably lose myself in a book until then,” he decided.  
  
    “Alright, I’ll-“  
  
    “Thomas,” a voice came from their left and they both turned. It was just Gally.  
  
    “Yeah?” Thomas responded to the tall boy with a buzzcut.  
  
    “I’m going to unpack some books in the back room, so I’ll need you at the front,” Gally informed him, tilting his head as his eyes fell on Newt. “I’ve seen you at school, somewhere,” he commented. Newt nodded, and Thomas looked at him in surprise.  
  
    “You go to W.C.K.D.?” Thomas asked.  
  
    “Yeah, I just transferred there this year,” Newt seemed somewhat nervous about this revelation.  
  
    “I go there too. I’m grade twelve, you?”  
  
    “Eleven. Probably why we haven’t seen each other,” he mused, and Thomas nodded in agreement. Gally was in grade eleven as well (and it was only September), so it made sense that he and Newt would have seen each other at some point, while Thomas hadn’t.  
  
    Gally cleared his throat, gesturing towards the back of the store.  
  
    “Yeah, sorry, go ahead,” Thomas shoo’d him away. “I need to go to the front, but I’ll come find you once it’s closing time, okay?” He checked with Newt.  
  
    “Alright,” he smiled at him, and he turned to head back to the counter.

* * *

  
    Thomas found Newt curled up with a book on one of the sofas near the back of the store once his shift was over. His eyes were glued to the page in front of him, legs tucked underneath him.  
  
    “Hey, I’m done,” he shuffled into the room, feeling guilty for interrupting the reading-trance. Newt’s head snapped up, but he relaxed when he saw who it was.  
  
    “Hi,” he replied quietly, sticking a piece of paper into the book before closing it and standing.  
  
    “You wanna go get food, or something?” Thomas asked. There wasn’t much to do or many places to go in their small town aside from places like the arcade and bowling alley, and Thomas didn’t take Newt for someone who’d enjoy a busy, loud environment like that.  
  
    Newt nodded. “Yeah! Could I buy this book first, though?” He asked shyly.  
  
    He was about to say yes (of course), when he remembered.  
  
    “Oh, I can get you that for free,” he said excitedly. He hadn’t had a chance to use his employee perk much as of yet, because school and work kept him too busy to buy new books in addition the ones he’d already began reading at home.  
  
    “Uh, you already got me the first one—“  
  
    “That's alright — we get two free books a month here; employee discount,” he told him, leading the way to the counter. “Just have to check it out of the records.”  
  
    “Are you sure?” Newt questioned uncertainly, not wanting to make him go out of his way. Thomas laughed.  
  
    “Positive,” he reassured him, running the scanner over the barcode on the cover of the book before he could disagree again.  
  
    “Thank you so much,” Newt thanked him profusely as he handed the book back.  
  
    “It’s seriously no problem, man.” Newt’s eyes lit up momentarily at the term as Thomas grabbed his bag and phone from behind the counter, but he concealed his happiness as Thomas turned back around.  
  
    They decided to walk to the Denny’s down the street, both craving unhealthy breakfast food for dinner. They talked for a few hours about everything — school, hobbies, music — until Newt reluctantly checked the time on his phone, sighing.  
  
    “I should probably go home soon. I have church tomorrow morning,” he frowned, and Thomas raised an eyebrow.  
  
    “I don’t get the religious vibe from you,” he commented.  
  
    “Yeah, well,” Newt shrugged. “Kinda have to be when the whole family is.”  
  
    “Are you, though?” Thomas pried, curious. From what Newt had told him, he got the feeling his family was pretty uptight, and he guessed they followed through with that attitude when it came to religion.  
  
    “Not really,” Newt mumbled, shaking his head. “If my family knew that,” he laughed nervously, trailing off. “Are you? Religious,” he asked.  
  
    “Nah. None of my family really is, so I’ve never been either,” Thomas replied, reaching into his bag to get money out. He sensed Newt open his mouth to protest and shut him down before he could begin.  
  
    “I invited you out in the first place,” he insisted, placing a twenty and a ten on the table. Newt huffed and thanked him (for the millionth time that day), scooting out of the booth and waiting for Thomas to do the same. They thanked the waitress as they passed her, stepping out into the lukewarm autumn air.  
  
    “You have a ride?” Thomas asked the blonde.  
  
    “I took the bus here, so I was just going to take it home as well.”  
  
    “No need, I can drive you,” Thomas offered.  
  
    “You’ve done so much today already,” Newt shook his head.  
  
    “It’s not even a favour, it’s called carpooling! Think of the environment,” Thomas joked, even though him driving while Newt took the bus wouldn’t actually be any different than carpooling.  
  
    “You’re too nice,” Newt groaned, giving in. Thomas snorted, bumping his shoulder with his.  
  
    They drove home in comfortable silence, aside from the odd comment on whatever song the radio was playing, and they bid each other farewell as the sky darkened and the night air cooled.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just so everyone knows, i’m in no way bashing religion! some of the negative stuff surrounding it in this story is based off of personal experience, and i myself am not religious, but i would never bash someone else’s beliefs. these are merely fictional characters, and as long as it’s not hurting anyone or being used as an excuse to be prejudice, i have no problem with religion :) thanks again for reading! comments are super welcome and appreciated <3 x


	3. Wilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas attempts to help a very reluctant Newt.

  
  
    Thomas entered the cafeteria on Friday, heading towards the table he and Newt had been meeting at over the past week. He normally sat in the back of his truck to eat, as his friend Minho had a different lunch block than him, but since he found out Newt attended the same school, they’d been hanging out together at lunch.  
  
    The blonde was already sat waiting, and smiled at Thomas as he sat down across from him.  
  
    “Hi,” he greeted him quietly, shoulders hunched. Thomas had picked up quickly after their first time talking in school that Newt wasn’t relaxed in the slightest while being there — his demeanor changed drastically whilst in school versus when they had hung out the past weekend.  
  
    “Hey,” he replied cheerily, setting his lunch on the table. “How’d your project go?” Newt had told him while they were texting during class that he had a group project to do during last block, and he hadn’t seemed thrilled about it. As Newt was describing one particularly insufferable group member, he noticed movement at the table behind Newt, and zeroed in on a few boys attempting to keep their laughter down as their eyes flickered over their table. He looked back at Newt, listening to his humorous tale, but still feeling uneasy about the group behind them.  
  
    “It was ridiculous,” Newt finished, taking a sip of his drink.  
  
    “Group projects are always wrecks. They waste so much time,” Thomas nodded sympathetically.  
  
    They discussed the book Newt had gotten at the bookstore until the bell rang signalling the end of lunch, and they both packed up their lunches, standing. Thomas gestured for Newt to lead the way, and noticed something on the back of his hoodie as the shorter boy moved in front of him. It was a sticky note; he got a little closer and saw the word _‘dyke’_ scribbled on it. That was probably what the guys at the table were laughing at earlier. _Idiots,_ he thought. _At least come up with insults that make sense._  
  
    He carefully plucked the note from the fabric, stuffing it in his pocket as Newt turned to look at him.  
  
    “What was that?”  
  
    “Oh, you just had some grass on your hoodie,” he lied. Newt nodded, thanking him for getting it off. Thomas knew Newt struggled enough with school as it was, and he didn’t want him seeing or hearing things like that directed towards him. It made him sad to see people being hateful towards someone as kind as Newt (or to anyone really), and he felt protective over the younger boy.  
  
    They were about to part ways when he remembered what was happening that evening.  
  
    “You’re still going to the music recital tonight, right?” He double checked. Newt winced.  
  
    “Sadly. You?”  
  
    “Yeah. I’ll look for you once I get there, incase you need a pep talk,” he joked.  
  
    “Okay, Tommy,” Newt replied sarcastically, waving to him and heading down the hall to his locker.  
  
     _Tommy_. That was new.  


* * *

  
    Thomas played the last chord in the song, holding the smooth piano keys for a few seconds before standing and heading back to his seat, polite applause filling the room. His palms were sweaty and his heart was pounding slightly, but he had done his performance and not messed up at all, so he could breathe now. His mom and grandma congratulated him as he sat down, his piano instructor giving him a thumbs up from where she sat with the other teachers.  
  
    He looked over to where Newt’s family was sitting and frowned to himself. Newt still wasn’t there. It wasn’t that he cared if he saw his performance or not — he was just hoping that maybe if Newt saw that he had survived it, he’d feel less afraid when it was time for him to go up.  
  
    It was soon only a few more performances until Newt’s turn, and the boy was no where to be seen. His family was starting to look antsy, much like how Thomas was feeling inside. He decided to go look for Newt; maybe he was just trying to prepare himself out in the hallway or something.  
  
    He waited until the current performance was over, then let his family know where he was going, and stopped by Newt’s family (who had no idea who he was) to tell them he was Newt’s friend and that he was going to go find him. He exited the recital room, checking both sides of the hall in hopes that he’d find the boy there, but he had no such luck. The only other places to go were outside and the bathroom, so he quickly stepped out of the front doors incase Newt had wanted some fresh air. He wasn’t there either, so he headed over to the building’s only bathroom, raising his hand to knock gently on the door.  
  
    He cringed, thinking about how awkward it would be if a complete stranger was in there, but he knocked anyway.

    "Newt?"  
  
    “Occupied,” came the reply from inside. The English accent and higher pitched voice gave it away — definitely Newt.  
  
    “It’s Thomas.”  
  
    “ _Oh,_ ” the voice from inside wavered slightly.  
  
    “Is everything okay?” Thomas asked. There was a pause before he got a response.  
  
    “Yeah.” Newt’s voice cracked a little. Thomas panicked inside; it sounded like he was trying not to cry and seeing people he cared about cry usually made _him_ cry too.  
  
    “Are you sure?”  
  
    It was silent for a bit too long, so he tried again.  
  
    “Newt, you can talk to me. Can I come in?” He hoped he wasn’t pushing any boundaries, but he was super protective over his friends, and he’d do anything to make them happy.  
  
    He heard the click of the lock being turned, and Newt opened the door a crack, holding it for him. Thomas stepped inside quietly, closing it behind him and turning to assess the situation. Newt was hastily tucking some fabric into his bag, trying to avoid eye contact with Thomas.  
  
    “ _Newt,_ ” he called him softly.  
  
    “It’s fine,” the blonde said, his unsteady voice contradicting the statement. He kept his gaze on the floor, determined to not give anything away.  
  
    “Clearly something’s wrong,” Thomas walked over to where Newt had sat down on his bag, slumped against the tile wall. He plopped himself down beside him, not looking at the younger boy so he wouldn’t feel uncomfortable. He thought for a moment, unsure of how to go about getting the boy to talk.  
  
    “Did…something happen?” He asked tentatively, playing with his tie.  
  
    “Not really,” Newt responded unhelpfully.  
  
    “Are you nervous?” He pried, trying to figure out how to comfort him, since it was plain to see that something wasn’t right.  
  
    Newt laughed half-heartedly. “I mean, yeah,” he mumbled. “It’s just something else that I can’t…really talk about.” He ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head slightly.  
  
    “Okay. You know that you can talk to me, though, right? I won’t judge you,” Thomas looked at him, searching his face. Newt nodded, glancing at him for a second and then looking away.  
  
    “Thanks,” he said quietly, but Thomas could tell he meant it. “I don’t think I can go out there.”  
  
    “I won’t pressure you, just — will your family…?”  
  
    “They’ll be disappointed, but they’ll forget about it,” he told him. “It won’t affect my lessons, anyway.” He sounded more like he was trying to convince himself rather than Thomas.  
  
    “Do you want me to let them know, so you can sort yourself out here?” Thomas offered kindly.  
  
    “You don’t have to; I don’t want to burden you.”  
  
    “It’s not a burden at all! Neither are you,” Thomas reassured him, patting his shoulder awkwardly. “I’ll tell them, just text me when you’re home, okay?”  
  
    “Okay,” Newt reluctantly agreed, thanking Thomas again as he exited the bathroom to inform Newt’s family of the situation. He realized as he was waiting for the current performance to end that they hadn’t actually decided what to say to them, but walked into the room after the song ended anyway to where they were sitting.  
  
    “Hi, uh, sorry to be the bearer of bad news,” he started, shuffling his feet uncomfortably. “Newt’s really…not feeling well, and he says he won’t be able to do his performance,” he told them, smiling apologetically.  
  
    His mother said nothing, instantly standing and finding the event coordinator to let them know that his song would be skipped. His father and sister seemed to be scrutinizing him, so he apologized again and quickly went back to his seat where his own family was looking at him questioningly. He was unable to pay attention for the rest of the recital after Newt’s family left the building, waiting for the text that confirmed Newt was home and everything was fine.  


* * *

  
   _‘hey, i’m home’_  
  
    Thomas’ phone buzzed on his bedside table around eight o’clock, and he put his notebook down instantly to check it, letting out a sigh of relief when he saw it was Newt finally.  
  
     _‘two hours later, rude’_  
  
    He added a _‘jk’_ after a moment of contemplation, not wanting Newt to think he was actually upset.  
  
     _‘sorry, i got held up’_  
  
_‘np. so…do you want to tell me what was really going on earlier?’_  
  
    Thomas was worried about his friend, and he could tell that something else was going on, aside from stage-fright. The typing bubble appeared and disappeared a few times for a minute.  
  
     _‘i’m tired, + i don’t rly want to talk about it over text’_  
  
    He sighed, understanding but wishing the younger boy would open up to him so he could help.  
  
     _‘buttt does that mean you’ll talk about it in person??’_  
  
_‘:/‘_  
  
_‘okay, how about: do you want to hang out tomorrow for lunch? we don’t have to talk about it, we can just chill’_  
  
_‘i’ve only known you for a few weeks, but i know when you’re up to something, thomas’_  
  
    Thomas snickered. He wasn’t wrong. Of course he wouldn’t ever pressure him into telling him anything, but he was going to try his best to help anyway.  
  
     _‘it’s the weekendddd’_  
  
_‘ugh, fine. i know a cool place if you can drive us’_  
  
_‘yes!!’_  
  
_‘smh’_  
  
    Thomas smiled to himself. He at least made a little progress in giving them an opportunity to talk about it in person tomorrow, and that was better than nothing.  
  
    He wondered what Newt was going to say (if he even got him to open up). And he wondered what he had hidden in his bag when he let Thomas into the bathroom. He had so many questions, but he knew he’d just have to wait until tomorrow to (possibly) have them answered.  
  
    He didn’t know why, but as the evening went on, his stomach flip-flopped a little whenever he thought about the next day. He decided he was just excited to see his friend again, and left it at that.  
  
  
      


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do you ever read what you wrote the next morning and hate it and want to cmnd+del it all lol because that's me with this chapter. i'm always so paranoid about making anything cliche or cringey that it seriously affects my confidence in my writing (and i didn't have much of that to start with!). oh welll i hope you enjoy regardless. tysm for continuing to read my stuff :) x also, warning that there may be a hiatus, idk how long, after chapter four, because things have been super chaotic and busy in my life and i haven't had time to write past half of chapter five. :( hopefully it won't be too long of a hiatus, but it just depends on how much free time i have to write. x


	4. Grow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas and Newt have an important talk.

 

 

  
    Thomas pulled into Newt’s driveway at noon just as the blonde was opening the front door, struggling with an armful of things. He quickly jumped out of his truck, rushing over to the younger boy to help him out.  
  
    “Thanks,” Newt sounded relieved as Thomas took a basket and blanket out of his arms, then did a double-take as he looked at his trunk.  
  
    “A _dog!”_ Newt’s eyes had lit up. The aforementioned dog was a short but sturdy pit-bull that Thomas loved with all of his heart, and had adopted a few years ago.  
  
    “No problem, and yeah, that’s Sunny,” he closed the door behind them with his free hand as Newt lead the way to his truck. After they had put everything in the trunk, properly greeted each other and Sunny, and settled in, Thomas pulled out of the driveway, looking to Newt for directions.  
  
    “Oh yeah, forgot. Similar to how you forgot to mention you have a dog,” he said mock-grouchily. “I would have looked forward to seeing you way more had I known she would be there.”  
  
    Thomas laughed, looking back at the windshield as he drove slowly down the street.  
  
    “It’s not a restaurant or anything — I actually packed food,” Newt informed him, patting the baskets on the seat between them.  
  
    “Oh, a picnic?” Thomas asked. Newt nodded in confirmation, looking uncertain. “How fancy,” Thomas grinned, seeing the blonde relax at his excitement.  
  
    “I figured it was a good way to say thank you for the books, and everything else,” he leaned back against the car’s headrest — or rather, tried to. He wasn’t quite tall enough to comfortably reach it, but he didn’t seem to notice or mind.  
  
    “I usually walk there, but I guess driving directions are the same. So, left when you get to the end of my street,” he instructed, playing with the corner of the blanket. Thomas complied, following his directions until they arrived five minutes later at a trail entrance, where two other vehicles were parked parallel to a wooden fence.  
  
    “Uh, just keep driving,” Newt pointed. “It’s a little further.”  
  
    After another minute, they arrived at a break in some trees, and Newt directed him to drive through it. When they came out on the other side of the tree-line, they were in a wide open grassy field that had little clumps of dandelions dotted around it, and a small, clear lake.  
  
    “This is it,” he announced, unbuckling his seat-belt.  
  
    “How did you find this place?” Thomas asked, doing the same.  
  
    “Part of the trail back there forks off to the lake here, but I think that most people don’t follow it because it doesn’t have any signs or anything,” Newt explained. “I found it while looking for somewhere quiet to read.”  
  
    “It’s really pretty,” he commented. “Should we lay the blanket down in the trunk and we can sit there?” Newt nodded, helping him gather the stuff back up.  
  
    They got everything set up, letting Sunny loose to explore and leaning back against the truck as they started to eat. Newt had made a few grilled cheese sandwiches and two thermoses of lemon iced tea, as well as some chocolate chip cookies.  
  
    “I guess singing isn’t your only hidden talent,” Thomas joked. Newt scoffed.  
  
    “It’s literally two pieces of bread with cheese.”  
  
    “That’s impressive. You should see me in the kitchen,” he grimaced. Newt laughed, imagining the mess in his head.  
  
    The sun felt warm and cozy as it shone down on the two of them, and it made everything look even more alive. Thomas revelled in how content he felt at that moment, hoping his friend felt the same. They sat quietly for a little while after they finished eating, soaking up the warmth and taking in the peaceful aura of the meadow, before Newt broke the silence.  
  
    “I can tell you’re impatient about something, so…” he prompted, nudging him.  
  
    “I wasn’t going to say anything because I didn’t want to pressure you,” he complained. He couldn’t hide anything.  
  
    “Your expressions give everything away,” Newt smiled, as if reading his mind. “But I _was_ going to talk all along; I was just putting it off.”  
  
    Thomas fist-pumped exaggeratedly, but paused when he noticed the smile had dropped from the blonde’s face.  
  
    “Uh, is this more intense than I thought? Are you a criminal? Did you kill someone and now you need help burying the body?” Thomas attempted to keep it light-hearted. Newt shook his head, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards slightly at Thomas’ inability to stay serious for a minute.  
  
    “Although, now I know who to go to if I’m ever in _that_ situation,” he joked half-heartedly. It was silent again for a few moments.  
  
    “So — I don’t really know how to say this,” Newt looked down at his lap, fiddling with the strings of his hoodie. Thomas didn’t speak, not wanting to rush him or cause him to change his mind.  
  
    “I’m…transgender.” Newt looked like he was going to be sick, but Thomas had nothing to say yet as his brain processed this information. At first he thought he meant he identified as a female, but then the puzzle pieces started clicking together in his mind: his mother calling him Noel, the _‘dyke’_ note the guys had stuck to his sweater, his higher-toned voice and small stature.  
  
    He realized he should probably say something when he noticed Newt panicking internally beside him, and he attempted to force his brain to reboot.  
  
    “Okay,” was all that came to his mind.  
  
    Newt looked like he was going to cry.  
  
    “No! I mean — it _is_ okay, of course, but I meant it in a positive way,” he quickly reassured him. “Nothing has changed in my mind about how I view you. I’m just — I’m not really educated on any of that stuff,” he explained, and Newt breathed a sigh of relief, sagging against the back of the truck.  
  
    “I thought you were going to disown me as your friend,” he admitted quietly. “You’re the first person I’ve told and this is terrifying.”  
  
    Thomas searched his brain, completely unequipped with words for this situation.  
  
    “Thank you for trusting me,” he said sincerely, smiling at his friend. A (still uncertain) smile to match his spread across Newt’s face as well.  
  
    “I was really scared to be outted when we were in the bookstore and Gally was talking to us. I’m not out at school, clearly, seeing as you’re the only person I’m out to now,” Newt told him. “I thought he was going to call me _she_ or something in front of you, same with while we were at school.”  
  
    “And last night…?”  
  
    “My parents got me a dress for the recital, but as soon as I walked in the building I couldn’t do it, and I went to the bathroom to change back into my usual clothes. It felt so…freeing, to have someone see me as a boy. If you saw me in a dress, you’d obviously start questioning — not that boys can’t wear dresses, but you understand what I mean,” Newt explained. Thomas nodded.  
  
    “Oh, and you were right about the spelling of my name. I just panicked and couldn’t think of how to talk myself out of that one, so I lied about it,” he said apologetically.  
  
    As Newt opened up to him, Thomas felt like he could almost see a physical weight lifted from the younger boy’s shoulders.  
  
    “What made you choose Newt?” Thomas asked. Newt shrugged.  
  
    “I dunno. I guess Isaac Newton was a cool dude.”  
  
    Thomas snorted at that, turning to look at the glassy lake. It was quiet again for a few minutes as their conversation sunk in. Thomas asked a few more questions, like how he should refer to Newt in front of his family (never male pronouns) and at school (the same as with his family, unless they weren’t around anyone).  
  
    The rest of their afternoon was spent in companionable silence with the occasional comment on how cute Sunny was being, and driving home Thomas realized he had never felt as content as he did in the truck in Newt’s presence.  
  
    That made him smile a little bit to himself.  


* * *

  
    As soon as Thomas got home after dropping Newt back off at his house, he practically ran to his computer, jumping onto his rolling chair. He then spent the next two hours until dinner absorbing every bit of information on everything to do with being transgender or being in the LGBT community in general.  
  
    He almost felt embarrassed at how uneducated he was — in his defense, he had never had a reason to do research on that stuff.  
  
    Thomas had a nineteen-year-old sister named Brenda, who wasn’t actually his sister by blood; she was a foreign exchange student from France that stayed with them for a summer. She ended up moving to their town when school ended to be close to them, as they had bonded with her and she felt like part of the family from day one. Brenda was very openly gay, and Thomas accepted her (unlike her actual family) without a second thought, barely asking questions because to him the terms gay and lesbian were super straight forward.  
  
    His childhood friend Teresa (also Brenda’s girlfriend) was bisexual, but she had known that since before she even knew there was a name for it, so there was never really a ‘coming out’ for her.  
  
    All of the stuff that he was now reading was becoming straight forward as well the more he read, and he felt decently equipped to help Newt with most things regarding his trans-ness. One of the websites he was on suggested finding an LGBT support group, or accompanying your friend to their current one, so he went on a hunt for groups near them. He found one whose sessions were held in the high-school’s library after school on Mondays, and sent the link to his phone so he could give the information to Newt as an option if he was interested.  
  
    He wanted to be as helpful as possible without being overbearing. It sounded like there were a lot of negative things that came with being transgender, and if he could do anything to make those things less painful, he would do so in a heartbeat. He was reaching the end of _‘a list of ways to support your trans friend’_ when he heard his mom’s car pull into the driveway, signalling the arrival of food.  


* * *

  
    Thomas had just finished getting ready to go to bed and was reaching for his phone when a notification from Newt popped up. He smiled at the coincidence, opening their texts to read his message.  
  
   _‘hi! just wanted to say thanks again, for everything’_  
  
_‘that’s what friends are for’_  
  
    He winced a little at the cheesiness of his reply before remembering what he originally was going to text him.  
  
     _‘if u ever need someone to talk to about that stuff or anything else, or call u handsome or something, i’m ur man. also if u want someone to go to the men’s bathroom with you. safer that way’_  
  
    He had only known Newt for a few weeks now, but the thought of anything happening to him (especially now that he knew what he knew) kind of made him feel like throwing up.  
  
     _‘whatta gent (:’_  
  
_‘:)’_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay for newt! i know not all coming out experiences are sunshine and rainbows, and i personally haven't come out to many people, but i wrote newt's coming out the way i wish mine would have gone - easily and happily. :) thanks again for reading!
> 
> instagram is shuckmas, twitter is shuccmas x
> 
> also, as i said (i think) on the last chapter, life has been really hectic and busy and just blehh. so i haven't had time to write past this chapter which i'm really sad about - i don't know if anyone is even invested in this story, but if you are i apologize that updates probably won't be every saturday from now on because i don't know when i'll have the time to write more. i'll try my best though to find time. :) x


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